Wounded Heart
by nickersoncrazy
Summary: Ned's thoughts as he loses in the most dangerous game of all. The game of love.


This story is kind of sad, from Ned's POV. And hopefully, I can make it seem as dramatic as the title. Enjoy!

Dedicated to boyzaremylife (yay, you!) and happychica.

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I've been waiting for this moment, ever since I first saw her. The moment to show her just what she meant to me, to tell her how much I loved her. I had never believed in love at first sight. She had changed my mind. I had fallen, and fallen hard for her. I loved her so much that I didn't want to live for even a second without her, which is why I'm doing this. 

I walk into the most expensive jewellery store in town, not a care in the world. I walk past the earring section, the necklace section, into that section that made me smile.

The ring section.

I look around and am surprised at the variety of rings that I see. I know what I want, though. I want the best for her. The most beautiful ring for the most beautiful girl. And I didn't care how much it cost me. Even if it meant swiping my entire account, I was ready to buy it. She was definitely worth it.

Nancy was worth anything.

I usually hate shopping, which is why I usually let her shop with Bess or George. I mean, they're girls, of course they like to shop. Not my thing, though. But now, I had to take time choosing the perfect ring for her. A token of my love, something she would treasure forever. It had to be special.

An hour later, I've got the ring I'm going to offer her. A beautiful diamomd that I would slip onto her finger. I can just about imagine it. I'd tell her how much I loved her, and then show her the ring. And then she'd cry, which was normal for girls to do, like in the movies. And then she'd nod her head. That would be the best moment of my life. I'd know that she loved me then, I'd know that she'd never leave me; that she was willing to commit to me. Shge'd brighten up my life. She'd make everything wrong seem ...so right. I'd give her anything under the sky, I'd swear to keep her smiling all throughout her life.

There's nothing that I'd rather want. All she had to say was yes. The word that would change my life for ever. The word that I'm counting on...the best word in the dictionary under the circumstance of proposal.

I take a deep breath. All I have to do now - is ask.

--

My parents don't know about this. I know I should have told them before I had got the ring - I just didn't know how. I sum up all my courage, trying to think of a way to break the news. They wouldn't object, would they? No, they liked Nancy, so I had nothing to worry about.

"Mom? Dad?" I say during dinner, that night.

"Yeah, son?"

"Well, uh...you know - you know how much I uh - like Nancy, right?" _Like_ Nancy? God, talking to parents about your love life was...embarrassing.

My parents stopped eating. They obviously knew that this was going to be big. "Yeah," my father said slowly.

My breath catches in my throat and for a minute I can't say anything.

"I - I want to marry her."

My father's fork falls to the plate and makes a _clink _sound. I turn to my mother. Her eyes are starting to moisten. My heart is pounding. I know that I will marry Nancy no matter what they say, but it'll be easier if they give their consent.

"Ned - seriously?"

I nod.

My mother gets up from her chair, walks over to me and throws her arms around me.

"Oh, my son is growing up," she cries. Normally, that would have been embarrasing, if anyone was around, but - hey, she's my Mom and I love her. I hug her back. She pecks me on the cheek. That is a yes, no doubt.

"Dad?"

He reaches out and gives me a hug, too. I knew they wouldn't let me down. I knew they were happy.

"We've always liked Nancy. If ther's any one out there who's worth having you, it's her."

"I love you guys so much," I say. "Thank you."

The only person left now was Nancy

--

I'm nervous. Okay I admit it, I'm scared. I haven't spoken to Nancy for an entire month. She had been working on a case abroad. We spoke on the phone a few times, but it always seemed like she was too busy to talk. That bothered me a little, but I try to forget about it, thinking of only the warm feelings I had for her.

I love her so much.

I'm on my way to the Drew's. This is the big moment. I'm going to ask her to marry me. I'm going to drop to a knee and tell her how truly I love her. I smile as I think of her reaction. I love seeing her happy, I love seeing her smile. I thank God every night before I go to bed, for giving her to me. Nothing means as much to me as she does. And now she was going to find out.

I park my car in the driveway and get out. I touch my pocket to feel the jewellery case there. I don't have a speech planned, I haven't rehearsed. I'm just going to let my heart do all the talking.

God, I love her so much.

I knock on the door, holding my breath unconciously. I give myself a little pep talk as I wait for someone to open the door. I knock again.

"Hannah," I say happily, when she opens the door. I reach down and gave the woman, who had taken care of Nancy ever since her parents, died a huge bear hug.

"Ned, hi," she said, a little alarmed. I notice the way her eyes dart to and fro, nervously. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm - I'm here for Nancy. Is she here?"

"Nancy? Oh she - she's in her room. Go on up," she said, distractedly. When I was half way up the stairs, she called me down and gave me a huge hug. Wondering what was going on, I pulled back a little and say tears in her eyes.

"Why - why are you crying?"

She impatiently brushed away the tears and smiled dismissively. Then she looked away, not answering.

I knocked on the door of Nancy's room when I reached.

"Come in." I hear her say._ Man, I missed her voice._

I push open the door and go in. She's on her bed, writing something. The minute she sees me, she drops her pen, and backs away a little. I walk up to her and give her a long, long kiss. I kiss her again. Something was different. I sensed that she was uncomfortable and pulled away.

"Ned," she said, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Is - is something wrong?"

She shakes her head and I take her in my arms once again. "I missed you," I say softly. To my disappointment she doesn't reply.

_Didn't she miss me?_

I push out all the questions from my head. I reach for her left hand, but she immediately hides in under a pillow. In puzzlement, I reach for her left hand and interlace my fingers with hers.

"I want to marry you," I blurt out, mentally kicking myself for that. She's frozen with shock and I unconsiously hold my breath, waiting for her to answer.

"Wh - what?"

"I want to marry you," I repeat softly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I love you."

Her hand slipped away form mine and flew to her mouth. But she isn't crying - this was nothing like I thought it would be. She swallows hard and looks away.

"I - I can't."

Her words hit me like a thousand bricks and I can feel my heart clench in pain. In a moment, in just a moment, she had crushed my every hope, my every dream. I had never felt as hurt as I did then.

"Why not?" I ask sadly.

She slowly exposes the hand she had hidden from me, trembling. And what I see, kills me.

A ring. On her ring finger.

"Nancy," I gasp. _God, no, this isn't happening, please._

"I'm engaged - to - Frank."

_No. No, no, no. This can't be._

"Nancy."

"I should have told you - I'm sorry Ned," she says, still not looking at me. "He asked me while we were working on that last case."

I don't believe her, I just can't. I pull her into my arms and she tries to squirm away - but I won't let her. She can't do this to me.

"Nancy," I say, my heart fragmenting. "You - you - said yes?"

"Yeah," she says and pulls away.

"Why - How?" I am so, so hurt. "I thought you loved me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't you love me?" I ask, desperately wanting to hear a positive answer. All that I did for her, all that I sacrificed - it's all gone down the drain. She's getting married. _Married._ And not to me. And she didn't even tell me. She didn't even care. All the things that I promised myself I would do for her - I can't. She's not mine anymore. She's Frank's. Frank Hardy's. Sure, there had been chemistry between them both, and Nancy and I had fought a lot about it. But at the end of the day, she had always come back to me. At the end of the day, she had always said that she loved me.

Until now.

"Ned, I can't. I - I love Frank. So much," she says, and I know that she means it. " I love Frank."

My life was tearing apart right before my eyes.

--

_(A few months later)_

I still haven't forgotten that terrible dream. My heart still throbs with pain everytime I think about her. I miss her so much. She hasn't called to say that she's sorry. She hasn't called to say that she loves me. She never will.

_I love Frank. I love Frank. I love Frank. _I haven't forgotten those words that ripped open my heart, that pushed a sword through it. I think about her every minute - every single passing minute. I can't stop loving her - I just can't. The depression that I face every day, right from the minute I wake up every morning, till the minute I drift of to sleep, while I'm holding her, in my dreams, is inexplicable.

"You may now kiss your bride."

I feel her push the thorns right through the core of my heart, when Frank leans in to kiss her. I'm standing outside the church where they just got married. _Married,_ as in, for life. I close my eyes taking in the pain, the pain of losing her.

I still have that ring, I haven't given up. I have it with me right now. Taking a deep breath, I walk inside the church.

My heart constricts with pain as I watch her kiss Frank back. She has no idea I'm there. Suddenly, she turns around, and our eyes met. Her mouth falls open at the very sight of me and my heart begins to pound.

_God, she's beautiful._

There's no one else in the world - just the two of us. I can't see Frank - but he's there. I can only see her. I see the face that I love so much.

As soon as I'm within touching distance of her, I do it again. I do it because I haven't given up, on us. I drop to a knee. Taking out the jewellery box from my pocket, I look into her beautiful.

"Marry me," I say, trembling with emotion. " I can't live without you."

I can see the tears filling her eyes - like in the movies. She should have done this the first time - but she didn't - she was engaged to Frank. And now she's married, but my heart refuses to believe that she doesn't love me. Some guests gasp, others murmur, but I don't care - I just don't care.

Before she could open her mouth to speak, Frank pushes me away roughly. "What do you think you're doing?" he fumes. "Nancy is my _wife_. Stop tormenting her."

It's not called tormenting, it's called love - love that my life depends on - true love.

I look again into her eyes, and see pain. I immediately feel guilty for having ruined the supposedly best day of her life. She 's on the verge of tears, and I hate that she's about to cry because of me. Just when I think my heart cannot break any further - it does. I walk upto her and take her face in between my hands.

"Smile," I whisper. "If you can convince me that you'll be happy living the rest of your life with Frank, I'll let you get rid of me. I'll go if that will make you happy." She bursts into tears and moves into my arms. I hold her gently, repeating to her how much I still love and care for her. How I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do amything without her by my side.

My memory flashes back to the first time I saw her. All covered in blood, on the road, near the remains of what used to be her car. She had met with an accident. The accident that her father had died in. I remember calling for an ambulance, kneeling down beside her, holding her hand, inspite of the fact that I knew nothing about her. I remember the way she broke down when the doctors broke the news about her father. I didn't even know her name then, but I remember holding and comforting her. I fell in love.

I remember the day I told her the way I really felt about her. I remember the tears in her eyes, when she told me that I was all she had. She made me promise to never leave me side, and now she was making me break that promise of love. But I will always , always promise to love her.

Frank pushes me again, hard this time. He is steaming, and I don't blame him. He shoves me agains the wall, fighting.

"Frank, don't hurt him," Nancy screams, but it's too late. Frank punches me hard in the jaw and I begin to bleed. I want to fight back - I want to fight for the woman I love more than anything else, but I won't. For her sake.

He then pushes me out of the church and I fall again, hurting my temple - but I can't feel it pain. The only thing I feel is my heart hurting, so, very badly. Nancy rushes out to my side and throws her arms around me. That is the best moment of my life, immense happiness. I wrap my arms tight round her, rocking her gently. My last chance to do so, and I don't want to see her cry.

"I love you, Nancy," I say and try so hard, but I can't help but let that single tear roll sown my cheek. "Promise me you'll never forget that."

"Ned - I swear," she chokes, crying harder. "I am so sorry. Ned, I - I want to tell you that - "

She doesn't get a chance to complete because Frank pulls her away from me. I feel her arms slip away from me and I feel cold again. Frank pulls her almost out of my sight, but our eyes are still locked in a gaze so deep, so magical.

_I love you,_ I mouth. Then I point to her and then to my heart so as to say, _You'll always be safe in my heart._

As soon as she understands what I mean, her face lights up in a smile so charming, so radiant. I had never seen her so happy before. The bliss in her eyes is priceless, and I smile back.

My heart stabbing with pain, I turn around and walk out of her life, into a world so cold, so dark, so full of pain. I smile, tears in my eyes, thinking of how happy I had made for in those last few minutes. One thing is clear, though:

I will love Nancy forever, until my last breath. I will always be there for her, I will always be faithful.

_Until my last breath._

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Pleeeeeeeeeeeease review! And , btw, the N/F thing is for the angst bit ONLY. I've really got to learn to write happy N/N stories. Oh well, cya later.

nickersoncrazy:,,,!


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